Thursday, August 31, 2017

Screens & Media-HELP ME PLEASE!

Hello everyone! I need my mentors and friends to please speak up here. I would love to hear your thoughts on screens and media.

Media means to "me"- Movies, shows, games, cellphone surfing, blogging, pinterest, social media outlets

A little about us on this subject. We do not have cable, Netflix, Pureflix, satellite, or any other outside source on our television. We do have Amazon Prime and we occasionally will watch movies on our laptop that way or watch on PBS.org the current Masterpiece shows. We do have a collection of family friendly movies, we use the library dvd's, and an occasionally treat to Redbox ONLY for a DECENT FILM which is rare.



We allowed our children to play games with moderation for years. The games had to be approved by us. We also allowed our children to watch certain youtube shows (science, Wild Krats, and gaming shows) on occasion.

We did not allow our oldest to have a cellphone until he was driving and turned 16. We have rules such as no phone at dinner time, in the bedroom at night (no matter what), and when we are out as a family having family time, and we also checked history.

BUT...IT IS A STRUGGLE! I was sick a lot last year and found myself allowing my guard to come down and they played more and more games, watching movies, and etc. All appropriate of course. But as my oldest is almost 18 I see him being sucked into his phone. Between working and school that is all he wants to do. "CHILL and Relax" he calls it. I also can't monitor what he is viewing as much. I see a pull in my other children to be swept up in this as well.

I will be honest! I also love my screen time. Blogging, researching recipes, pinterest, googling, youtube, and I can go on. I try to limit mine though. But still I am guilty of spending more than I should.

I am noticing my younger ones being sucked into this vortex of media and not using their imagination and playing as much. I look around even in our churches and everyone is on a phone. Walking in on a phone, sitting during preaching on a phone, driving on a phone, and on and on .

I remember going to a ladies church Christmas party and all the women but me and one other lady was on their phone the ENTIRE time. A little talk here and there and laughter here and there but your were competing with a screen to fellowship with them.

I see the youth today in our churches standing around with tons of teens around and literally staring at a phone. My son said this was the hardest part about not having a phone until he was 16 because he would go to church and everyone would be staring at their phone and wouldn't talk.

I am seeing a need of balance, reconstruction in our battle plan in our home to conquer this issue, and revive our lives.

Do you set yourself boundaries? Your children (even if they are grown please share what you did)?
Did you allow screen time during the week? Take a media off day? Media fasts or breaks? Set daily timers? Weekends only? Evenings only? Is it bad? Should I just chill?  Am I bad person if this is our hobby?  Ugh!

Please....PLEASE...chime in!!!

Tomorrow's topic- Rebellion!

13 comments:

  1. I am noticing the too much screen time too. It is all so new to many of us from the older generation. I think there needs to be some kind of standard rule of etiquette created at least for gatherings, visits, etc, so people will put away their phones for awhile.

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    1. Agreed Mrs.White! When I see an entire family out somewhere together, but all on their phones, they remind me of robots! :(

      It's also sad to see so many people "together" and yet "apart" because they are in their own little cellphone world by texting, surfing the web, etc.

      While my children are allowed movies and games at times that I approve of, age appropriate, wholesome, etc., I have noticed the more I give in that area, the more my children want. So I try to keep it at a minimum because the flesh is never satisfied!

      I've also known adult family members who were unfortunately addicted to video games and would spend hours upon hours of their day on them.

      May we all have the wisdom to help our children in this media loving day and age.

      Take care and I hope you have a good day!

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    2. Mrs. White!!! I am so honored you stopped by my blog. I can't tell you how excited I am. I have gleaned from your books and have grew in so many ways as a homemaker!! They will be shower gifts from now on. Thanks for sharing!

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    3. How Mama Saves,

      Thanks for visiting! I love your comment part you wrote about our flesh is never satisfied. Wow! What a great point.

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    1. Your boundaries are great, you and your husband just need to keep on in focusing them. As for your sons phone, there is an awesome app for all your homes detectives including you sons phone. At accountable 2 you. https://www.accountable2you.com/ my daughter and SIL has it on all their work computers, phones, chromes, laptops. Making each one is accountable to the places they visit. Go to the site to read more about it.

      Yes, there should be boundaries set for each member of the family. We have to teach self control, responsibility, accountability, and making wholesome choices. We must also set the example. You could visit focus on the family for more help on this subject.

      Some parents think that it would be better just to strip everything from the children I think it would only make them desire it more and more. They would not learn self control, or how to set limits. They would be determine to see it, and find it some where else. In everything there needs to be moderating, and limits. Teaching them purity, wholesome choices, and praying for them to grow in Christ.

      Yes, we set time limits, we teach them the danger of internet. We only watch wholesome movies on youtube every once in a while. They are not allowed to surf, we do it for them. When they become of age to get a phone it will be a text and talk only to start out with and later if they get a i phone it will be with the accountable 2 you app on it. I hope this helps!

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  3. If school work and chores are complete Megan will sometimes ask to get on her tablet or watch some PBS in the afternoon. I allow no more then an hour. Really this depends on the day, the weather and such. If it's nice I will say no and send her out to play. She is also allowed to get on her tablet for 39-60 minutes in the evening. She usually takes it into her room about 8 and will play a game or watch something on youtube. Chuck is in charge of the electronics. He has to approve all the games that are downloaded and there are only certain things she can view on youtube. How Its Made and How To Make Everything are both education and her favorites. He checks youtube history frequently and can see what all of us view. I can see that as she gets older this might get harder.

    We don't have smartphones so we aren't out viewing things while in public. We use our phones for calls and neccessary texing. Certainly not attached to them. It makes me sad when I see a family at dinner and no one is talking, but everyone is looking at a screen.

    I feel each family has to do what works for them. This is one of those teaching moments that just because everyone else does it doesn't make it right. Finding balance is the key as if they are never on electronics then they because forbidden fruit and that could lead to big problems when they leave the nest.

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  4. A topic to which I can speak ! We have three kids (11, 10, and 9). We have never had a TV (got rid of it three months before my oldest was born). My husband and I share a laptop (this one). I became addicted to social media. Seriously addicted. I was not happy unless I was on Facebook, or Instagram, or YouTube, or Pinterest, etc. I neglected my family for many years. Approximately, three months ago I woke up and I heard the voice of GOD in my head, and he said, "It's time." I knew to what he was referring, and I immediately deactivated every social media account that I had. I thought I would go through withdrawal, but I didn't miss any of it. Not even once. No regrets. I now have only my G-mail, and I subscribe to about seven or eight blogs (yours being but one of them). I now read scripture, or books referring to scripture, in my spare time, and I am happy, and at peace. But you asked about the kids...We have no cell phones, no devices, no gaming toys, etc for any of them. They know how to use computers because they use them at school (I don't approve of that, but that's another story for another day). If they need to do a report of some sort or research, we live just three blocks from the library and it is open six days a week. I have to come to see over time that all this technology, while endlessly fascinating, does more to separate us than to unite us. So I now I am very selective. Computer time (for me) is one evening a week, no more than two hours, and it has to be material that feeds my soul, and/or encourages me in my walk with the Lord. My children are not Amish, but I do expect them to put spiritual concerns above worldly interests... and in order to avoid being a hypocrite, I now do the same.

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  5. My children are 18,14,12,10. My oldest two have phones but don't have internet. The only time they can get internet is it they are by Wi-Fi. I am with them all the time so I see what they look at. We don't have tv or internet in our home. The only time we watch movies is it we get them from the library or buy them. My husband and I have cell phones with internet only for when we need it. My 14 year old only has one because he works mowing yards and if I need him he has it. I know this may sound strick but it hasn't been a problem. We have taught our children the dangers of spending too much time with these things. Its not always perfect and sometimes there's conflict but they dont complain too much. And we go to church where everyone has the latest things. But try to teach our children that things don't make people happy. Raising children is a hard job. God gives us the grave for every trial. I will help u pray about it. I really enjoy reading your blog.

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  6. Our sons did not get cell phones until they were teens and could pay for both their phone and their cell service themselves. This was our rule. They also were not allowed to have them at the dinner table or family gatherings. I personally think every church should have a rule that cell phones must be turned off or turned on to vibrate only and put away during church. Nobody wants to hear someone's phone ringing or a child playing games on a cell phone while listening to the sermon or during praise and worship.

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  7. Chrissy, my children are older (late 20's - 30's) and so the pull of cellphones was not an issue at the time. I do understand the struggle. I would suggest that the children be allowed a "dumb" phone to be used when they are out driving or at work. No internet -simply phone capabilities (sadly text too). Do you have a regular home phone? Allow that phone to be used to talk to friends etc. I know that sounds extreme in this day and age but I've seen families destroyed with internet access/addiction/porn via the cell phones.

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  8. Hello Mrs. Chrissy,
    This is in regards to a comment you left on a post, Hard Times Don't Take a Christmas Vacation, a couple of years ago on my blog, Harvest Lane Cottage. I am reading through my blog from its beginning in 2007, and I've made it to Christmas 2015. Here's the link to the post so that you can see your comment.

    https://harvestlanecottage.blogspot.com/2015/12/hard-times-dont-take-christmas-vacation.html

    Here's my response to your comment. I'm sorry. I couldn't find your email address to respond directly.

    Dear Mrs. Chrissy,
    I am reading back through my blog and saw this comment. When we repent, he's quick to forgive. He'll help us even if we've made messes ourselves. Yes, there are consequences, but he will help us through them. I hope things are better for you now. God bless you dearie!

    Sincerely,
    Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

    P.S. Interesting, my hard times two years ago were financial. This year, at Christmas, I'll add radiation for breast cancer. God has been faithful through it all. Praise him!

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Welcome! Love your friendly comments.